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  <h1>Baking Disasters</h1>

  <p>Because sometimes molecular gastronomy explodes.</p>
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      <h2>Doom Bread</h2>
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    <img class="baking-photo" src="images/doom-bread.png">

    <p>Is it a bread or is it a roll? Within this layery monstrosity is the
      essence of fatty deliciousness. Doom Bread combines bacon, cheese and vast
      quantities of butter into a single object, which amazingly fits in the
      palm of your hand.</p>

    <h3>The Recipe</h3>
    <ul>
      <li>1 bottle mead per baker</li>
      <li>1 packet of active yeast</li>
      <li>1 1/2 sticks salted butter</li>
      <li>6 tsp sugar</li>
      <li>1 1/2 cups lukewarm water</li>
      <li>1 large egg</li>
      <li>3 1/2 cups all purpose flour</li>
      <li>3/4 tsp salt</li>
      <li>1 1/2 tbsp dried oregano</li>
      <li>1 tsp dried basil</li>
      <li>1 lb bacon</li>
      <li>1/2 cup oil packed sun dried tomatoes</li>
      <li>1/2 lb mozzarella</li>
      <li>1 1/2 cups grated parmesan cheese</li>
      <li>1 tsp garlic salt</li>
      <li>1/2 tsp chili powder</li>
    </ul>
    <ol>
      <li>Dump half of the butter into a microwave safe dish and microwave it
        until it's melted. Set it aside to let it cool.
      </li>
      <li>In a large bowl mix the flower, salt, oregano and basil. Set aside.
      </li>
      <li>In a different somewhat smaller but still largeish bowl, stir the
        yeast into the sugar. Add the egg and stir as you add the water. Mix
        thoroughly.
      </li>
      <li>Once that the butter is cool, stir that into the sugary mixture.</li>
      <li>Grab a glass of mead and wait for the mixture to foam up. This takes
        about five minutes.
      </li>
      <li>Stir the foamy sugary mixture into the original large bowl with the
        flower in it.
      </li>
      <li>Mix and then knead the dough for a few minutes. Set the dough aside to
        rise. This will take about an hour. Drink more mead.
      </li>
      <li>Dice the tomatoes.</li>
      <li>Dice the bacon and fry it up pretty crispy. Remove the bacon from the
        grease and mix it with the tomatoes.
      </li>
      <li>Pour the warm bacon grease over the remaining butter in a small bowl.
      </li>
      <li>Mix the garlic salt, parmesan cheese and chili powder in yet another
        bowl.
      </li>
      <li>Cut the mozzarella into 10 pieces. Roll each piece of mozzarella in
        bacon being sure to use less than half.
      </li>
      <li>Cut the risen dough into as many equal pieces as you have pieces of
        mozzarella.
      </li>
      <li>Flatten each piece of dough and wrap it around a piece of mozzarella.
        Squish each sphere tightly to seal it.
      </li>
      <li>Dunk each sphere into the buttery greasy mixture, roll it in the
        bacon, and then roll it in the cheese mixture.
      </li>
      <li>Put all of the rolls on to a cookie sheet. If you have any extra
        grease, bacon or cheese, put it on top of the rolls. Let them rise for
        another hour. Pour another glass of mead.
      </li>
      <li>At some point during this hour, preheat your oven to 350.</li>
      <li>Bake for 20-30 minutes until golden brown.</li>
    </ol>
    <h3>The Attempt</h3>

    <p>The vast list of ingredients for this recipe required too much shopping
      for any of the baking team to bother with. We divided up ingredients
      amongst ourselves before we met to meet our doom. This strategy was only
      partially successful as several bakers canceled at the last minute. We
      ended up making some careful substitutions to close this gap.</p>

    <p>Where the recipe calls for parmesan we substituted shredded cheddar that
      was left over from the previous nights taco party. Where bacon was
      required, we substituted low fat spam. Having accepted our fate we mixed
      the ingredients, loaded them into the oven and prepared for the worst. As
      it turns out, we were able to fit the entire batch into the oven making
      this an all or nothing experiment.</p>

    <p>Fearing that the baking doom bread would summon demons, we retired to the
      lounge for a final round of mead.</p>

    <h3>The Aftermath</h3>

    <p>With our mead consumed we returned to the kitchen. Carefully peeking into
      the oven we determined that that doom bread summoned no demons, but it did
      summon at least some fire. 1/3 of the batch appears to have exploded in
      such a way that it combusted for at least part of the baking process. The
      other 2/3 looked mysteriously pristine.</p>

    <p>After allowing some time to cool we inspected the editable results. The
      morsels smelled slightly of smoke, likely the result of their burning
      brethren. Jenny decided to take the first bite. Her face quickly
      contorted into the most horrible of expressions. She survived the bite but
      refused to take another and refused to offer any details about her
      experience.</p>
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  By <a href="http://plus.google.com/116852994107721644038">Baking Disasters</a>
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